May. Month to pray.

And now it is May!



It is a month to pray the rosary; to start if you haven't ever done it and wondered about it. 
To learn a bit more about it if you don't understand it (no it's not deifying Mary, it's asking for prayers). It's a month of springtime and beauty, and I have found such comfort and grace in this prayer of contemplation.
This video above is from last year and is about praying for our dedicated priests.  Most of the priests in this world are good holy men, who give their lives in service and prayer, for us.  They can certainly use some of our prayers, right back.
Think about it.
It's easier than it looks and it's May!
All the hip folks are doing it!
Happy May!

Announcing.

 Painting by John Collier.

 Announcing: Putting out a message: Annunciation: Hey there, listen up....

See, it's all the same thing, essentially.

Today is the Solemnity of the Annunciation.
Now you all know that this feast just resonates with me.  For me.
I wrote about some of the obvious reasons, here, last year.  

{I'm working a little bit from last year here as well....adding my current thoughts to the ones that still hold.}
Really, I could and probably should, meditate on this feast, these images for a long time, oh...for the rest of my days.  Maybe I'd be a better person.  Surely, I'd be a better mom. Surely my faith would grow.

Because this feast is all about the letting go. 
It's about the letting go, in blind faith...the kind of faith I can only dream of, reach toward, and pray for a glimmer.
That kind of faith, that kind of willingness to "let go" and accept challenging-don't-know-the-road-ahead-but-I'll-keep-on-and-do-my-best-without-whining-endlessly-and-relentlessly-nagging-questioning sort of faith just astounds me.  

Humbles me.  

Blows my mind.  Still.  Ever. 

But she did. 
Mary was a girl, a mere girl.  Not old, with decades of life to measure the probability of it turning out ok in the end, or to compare to another girl she heard of in the same spot.  She had no measuring stick but faith.  And she was able to hold her breath, think about it for a moment (Because she was not programmed like a robot, she could have said 'no,'....Indeed, we are taught that all of creation held it's breath.)...and say, "fiat."
Fiat.
Ok.
I'll do it.  "Thy will be done, not mine."

 Painting by Henry Tanner.

Ok, right there, there it is again.  That hard stone to trip over; the one that lands me flat on my face, every time.  "Your will be done, not mine." "Your will."  "I'll go with it."
Simple, right?
Seems so.
Should be.
But no.  Oh my, no. Not at all.

And she was surely scared, and unsure, and didn't understand, and thought it's impossible, c'mon.  But, somehow, her heart of hearts, her very soul twinged and twanged and she knew.  She KNEW, that this was the real deal - the realest deal.  And so she bowed her head.  She said "ok." "Yes." Maybe one of the most beautiful words in language, top ranks for sure:
"Fiat."


And so, ever still, I look to her as an example of  how to do it right.
I look to her for inspiration that it can really be ok even when it seems impossible and  you just don't know how to move ahead and you're stepping into the dark without a light to read this new map you've been given.

 One of our referral pics, he was so small!

I look to this feast as a reminder and connection to my own Gabriel, my Gabriel Tariku... and how scary that was and how amazing that unknown can be.

I look to this feast, that fiat, and remember that we all get the chance, again and again, to say "Fiat."

I see another young girl who has done that, again and again.
And who does so, every day as she navigates a new huge world, full of wonders and hard confusing things both, struggles to learn and adapt and grieve and heal and grow and reclaim joy all at the same time.
And I know she says "fiat."
I think she whispers it, but oh, I know she does say it, again and again.
And she is a little mini annunciation for me, every day.
Will I carry her? Will I love her? Will I teach her? Will I let her teach me?
I know she says "Fiat."
And so, so do I.  

I watch my son as he works through big decisions and changes.
He desires to say "fiat," indeed,  he is saying so but it is so big that it takes prayer and a heart ready to be cracked open to the unknown.

He will navigate a whole new world and yet one that is already so much home to him, perhaps.
And so on this special feast day, I whisper ever more prayers for him as well.
This process, his process and his changes, bring about my own, new and daily fiat too.  Stupidly so, as this one is not mine to whisper and yet, it is.   Because if I do so too, then it helps him in whatever way he is to go.  To know that I am giving him to his yes too, no holding back.

This"fiat stuff"...it's a big blind breathtaking step.  Every time.
And THAT is why we celebrate it with a big feast.
Because it's a celebration of faith and love.
And deep breaths: fear into faith into joy. 
Every time.

Happy Feast of the Annunciation!

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed
is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen

Mother of God!

Happy New Year!

And Happy Feast of Mary, Mother of God.

Sounds simple, a no brainer right?
Doh....Mary gave birth to Jesus.  Yup. We're n the midst of the whole Christmas season, surrounded by nativity scenes, Mary pregnant on the donkey, Baby Jesus in the manger....that's the quintessential "mom" scene.
This IS one of the uber Catholic solemnities....one of the ones that cause some division.  But in my humble opinion, that division is not justified; it's a tempest in a teapot (to use momspeak).  So, why the big deal..."Mary, Mother of God?"

Well that term took some theological argument discussion.  Ages ago, literally.  Way, way, before the "Big split (into the whole Protestant/Catholic deal)." Even way before any real divide between Eastern and Western Christianity.   Because it speaks to Jesus and his Divinity and while it seems obvious, it wasn't so much...and you know, folks like things really pinned down officially and academically.  Hence, long ago - 431 AD - they even held a council of the bishops of the world, those who had received the faith, entrusted to them, on down in succession from the Apostles, to officially pin this all down.  Because someone was teaching that Jesus wasn't divine from the moment of his conception or even birth, but taught that he was elevated to divinity later.   Was Jesus divine from the moment of his conception, or was he born only human?  Did Mary give birth to a human person or a divine person?  Was Mary, or was she not, in that sense, "Mother of God?"  Can we even speak those words?  Well, God chose and prepared her for Himself, from all the women of all time, to be the bearer of His Son.  And while the first person of the Trinity, God the Father is the sole source of Jesus' divinity, from "in the beginning", and Mary the sole source of his humanity, by the power of the Holy Spirit these two natures are inseparably, indivisibly, united in the one person Jesus Christ from the moment of His conception -- thus declared the great council of Ephesus.  And as God's Son is Divine and not only human, well, then Mary properly IS to be called the Mother of God. 

The precise title “Mother of God” goes back even further, at least to the third or fourth century. In the Greek form Theotokos (God-bearer), it became the touchstone of the Church’s teaching about the Incarnation. The Council of Ephesus in 431 insisted that the holy Fathers were right in calling the holy virgin Theotokos.

Really, it just remains kind of mind blowing to me.  Mary had the choice to say, "Um, nope, not doing this, too hard, too strange...really?  Mother of God?  I don't get it....let me think about it."  But she didn't.  She said "Yes." "Fiat."  And thus the world began to be brought back into the proper order and we were all given the best present ever.

        "Long lay the world, in sin and error pining,

               'til He appeared, and the soul felt it's worth"

So today I am looking at icons.  Because today, on the last day of Christmas, we celebrate the mother, the Theotokos, the "Mother of God."  And really, icons are about the only way to begin to wrap your mind around all this.  Because who can imagine God, really?  You can't. I can't -- not really as He is.  And as soon as you think you are...well,  you've fallen into presumption now, haven't you?  So, icons are perfect for today.  They function as "little windows into heaven."  Icons (Ikonos -- Images, in Greek) are images of the true Ikon, the one who images the Father, the one who shows us the Father, the face of God, that he revealed to the world "in the fullness of time" born of a woman, of a pure and holy virgin.  Whom He loves more deeply, more perfectly than any other son loves his mother, and whom "all generations shall call blessed".

They are not meant to be realistic or have realistic lifelike perspective.  They represent what we cannot fully see with just our own eyes and senses; they image the world beyond the veil, the divine, the eternal.  And so today I want to look at these icons and ponder them.  Ponder what it means for her to be the Mother of God, the Theotokos...what faith and trust it took to say 'fiat', 'be it done unto me according to thy word.'  To contemplate the fullness of it all and take maybe one or two(or the multitude that I need) lessons from it.  

Today ends the Octave of Christmas.  The new year is launched.  It is set in motion with a remembrance of the greatest faith and hope and love.  We step into the new year on the right foot, so to speak.  Today we celebrate mom, Mary.  I like that so much.  And, it's really no coincidence that it's also the World Day of Peace.  Because we mom's, we are all about peace: the seeking, the getting, the craving, the searching, the making of peace.
Peace almost always begins with the mom.

Thus, we need today's World Day of Peace and New Year to coincide with the Solemnity of the Mother of God.  It's a big job, a big day.  We need the the biggest hope and love of the best mother....because she brings us her Son.  

Happy New Year!

Happy Feast day!

Wishing us all a peaceful day and new year to come!

Dia de Fiesta: Guadalupe!!!

It's the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!
Being from the southwest, growing up in Arizona specifically, I have a special fondness for Our Lady of Guadalupe. And you know, I just like most everything about this feast day and Our Lady of Guadalupe.  I love the Mexican culture, the food to celebrate, the miracles, the roses, the prayers, the colors, the music, the textiles.  What's not to love?

The short version of Our Lady of Guadalupe is, of course, that she appeared to St. Juan Diego on his way to Mass.  She asked for a church to be built on the spot.  She asked him to ask the Bishop.  He agreed, the Bishop didn't want to believe him.  So he kind of griped to Mary, saying that he couldn't get the Bishop to listen and he wanted a sign..  She told Juan to gather flowers from Tepeyac Hill, (ones that weren't indigenous and it was winter) and so he gathered the roses (that had miraculously bloomed in the winter snow) up in his cloak.  When he got to the Bishop, he spilled the roses out in the office and on his tilma (A type of cloak) was the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe!  Full wikipedia version here.

This is one of those times where once again, we see the universality of the Church.  Mary is not only our mother if you are of white european ancestry, but of course, she is mother to us all - the world over.  And in Mexico, today, you can see the festival celebrating her, complete with all the local cultural trimmings.

Coffeedoc and I went to Mexico City on his fortieth birthday, to go see the tilma for ourselves.  And you know, there was a time when part of me just kind of took the 'folklore' appreciation route with Our Lady of Guadalupe.  My folklore background would kick in and I'd get caught up in all the sensual aspects: the colors, textures, foods, fiestas...the layers and layers that are part of any long historical memorial.

But, going to Mexico City, to the Basilica's - the old and the new - well, it's one of those things.  You go.  You see the pilgrims who have traveled there ON THEIR KNEES.  

You see the thousands and thousands of milagros pinned up (Small metal tokens of thanksgiving left behind for answered prayers).  And you see the tilma.  

You stand in front of the tilma, and scour it with your own eyes.  You pray. And it's like C.S. Lewis says, to paraphrase: you either believe, or you think they are all lying (Or it's a big scam), or that they are crazy.  

Well, I don't think they are all lying and I don't think that it's a scam.  I think Our Lady of Guadalupe has made a huge difference in so many lives.  And I don't think they are all crazy either.  Especially not after being there.  But I didn't really ever ascribe to that one either.  I believe.  I believe Our Lady of Guadalupe is another manifestation of Our Blessed Mother.  And that like any mom, she will go to where her children are and where they need her.  And so she did.  

"A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet,
and on her head a crown of twelve stars"
Revelation 12:1 (Entrance Antiphon for Our Lady of Guadalupe)

  

Ave María (Hail Mary)

Dios te salve, María. Llena eres de gracia: El Señor es contigo.

Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres. Y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre: Jesús.

Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores,

ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte. Amén.

*portions of this from  last year, it's Advent, and finals....Our Lady of Guadalupe won't mind, I hope you won't either. And yes, I'm just that lazy efficient these days*

Immaculata

Saint Anne conceiving the Virgin Mary
Douai, Musée de la Chartreuse

Oh, it's a big feast today!  It's one of those feasts: an uber Catholic one.
It's the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day of obligation.

It's actually a Solemnity, which means it has even more import...so it's a biggie!

This is one of the big Marian feasts, and one that often gives many folks some consternation (from a scratch on the head to fits).  For a good explanation of it all, go here (and scroll down for all those, "What's up with that" "How can that be?" kind of responses).  I can't give you a great theological treatise on it.  It took brilliant theologians from the east and west to determine this one over the centuries, but they did because we are human. And our inquiring minds want to know, and puzzle and ponder.  So those who have gone before us prayed and debated and concluded.  I can say that it only makes sense to my puny brain.

Pierro de Cosimo, "The Immaculate Conception and Six Saints"

For a long time, I thought that the "immaculate conception" referred to Mary's conception of Jesus, you know, with the descent of the Holy Spirit and Gabriel and all...clean, tidy, right?  

But no, it's actually about Mary and her being preserved from the stain of original sin. 

Confusing, a little, huh?  

Well, this is how it parses out in my old mom brain: God himself is all love and of course, without sin.  God came to us in his son, Christ, who was also without sin (being God and all).  Since all purity and all love cannot coexist with the stain of sin, how could Christ come to us as a man, without first having a pure 'vessel', if you will?  Well, he couldn't, that would not correspond with the natural/divine order.  Growing in utero is, utterly, coexisting.  So, if God cannot coexist with sin, then a human mom to be would have to be found, sinless.  And thus, since God is beyond time, he prepared Mary, {from her conception of course}, to be without sin.  Because God knew, outside of time, that Mary would be the perfect (literally and figuratively) mom for Jesus.

Now, I think that's cool!  It makes perfect sense to me and really is one of those 'clap your hands, I get it" kind of moments.  Yeah, it's uber Catholic.  But hey, I love being Catholic because (well, so many reasons) its cool and rich and takes my breath away.  And of course,  I love feasts....so it's a good day!

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!

**Disclaimer: yes, you saw most of this last  year.  But it's advent and I need to be frugal w/ my net time.  So instead of wracking my puny brain to find another way to say this. I'm gonna go with what I said.  Because I meant it then and still do. Thanks for understanding...**

For any mom

drawing by Kate Kollwitz, 1903

Today is the day we remember Our Lady of Sorrows.

Oh, there is so much to this one...

As a mom, this resonates with me.  

Ok, maybe as an older mom it resonates.

As a mom of sons who've gone to college, who has just sobbed goodbye to them...

as a mom of kids who come from hard places and  have endured hardship and trauma...

as a mom who has held other mom's babies and children across the world in dark hot smelly orphanages, waving flies off their face as I feel their damp bottoms but also their arms clinging to my neck, or see them lying limp in my arms just gazing out - disconnected...

as a mom of kids who have struggled with different needs, some of them very hard and/or intense...

as a mom of kids who've gone through life-threatening events and as a mom who has sat vigil bedside in the PICU....

gosh as a mom who has lain awake countless nights worrying over  her kids...

over things big or small....

As a friend to moms who have lost children...

as a friend to moms who's kids have been in the PICU, or hospital too....

as a friend to moms who have had kids go through the hardest scariest time in their lives and/or those of their parents...

goodness, as a mom who WATCHES THE NEWS, for pity's sake...

....this memorial is for us.  

Because this Blessed Mother, she is us.  

She is every mom.  

She is the mom giving  her portion of food for her hungry child.

She is the mom sitting bedside by her sick child.

She is the mom who weeps sending her child off, to work, to college, to a new life in a new country.

She is the mom who wishes she could hurt so her child doesn't have to.

She is the mom who carries them, bodily, but also in mind and heart....all day, every day, all night, every night. 

She is the mama.

She is us.  

She gets it.  

And she helps us carry it all....all those things that no one but a mom can fathom, truly...well, she does.  

As I wept and wept a few weeks ago, worried over my son, him moving out and having to say goodbye to him in a new place that didn't feel like home, at all, to him or to me...my other son said this: "Our Lady of Sorrows mom....the litany, it will help."  I said, "She didn't send her son to college!" (I know, I'm a selfish idiot)  He smiled and said "Yuh, she watched him be crucified."  

So...with that, I give you this, it helped me then, and it is a reminder that she is not just the remote Mother of God.  

She is everywoman.  

Everymom.  Us.

 Litany of Our Lady Of Seven Sorrows 
By Pope Pius VII

Leader	Response
Lord, have mercy on us.	Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us.	Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of heaven,	Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,	Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,	Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,	Pray for us.
Holy Virgin of virgins,	Pray for us.
Mother of the Crucified,	Pray for us.
Sorrowful Mother	Pray for us.
Mournful Mother	Pray for us.
Sighing Mother	Pray for us.
Afflicted Mother	Pray for us.
Foresaken Mother	Pray for us.
Desolate Mother	Pray for us.
Mother most sad	Pray for us.
Mother set around with anguish	Pray for us.
Mother overwhelmed by grief	Pray for us.
Mother transfixed by a sword	Pray for us.
Mother crucified in thy heart	Pray for us.
Mother bereaved of thy Son	Pray for us.
Sighing Dove	Pray for us.
Mother of Dolors	Pray for us.
Fount of tears	Pray for us.
Sea of bitterness	Pray for us.
Field of tribulation	Pray for us.
Mass of suffering	Pray for us.
Mirror of patience	Pray for us.
Rock of constancy	Pray for us.
Remedy in perplexity	Pray for us.
Joy of the afflicted	Pray for us.
Ark of the desolate	Pray for us.
Refuge of the abandoned	Pray for us.
Shield of the oppressed	Pray for us.
Conqueror of the incredulous	Pray for us.
Solace of the wretched	Pray for us.
Medicine of the sick	Pray for us.
Help of the faint	Pray for us.
Strength of the weak	Pray for us.
Protectress of those who fight	Pray for us.
Haven of the shipwrecked	Pray for us.
Calmer of tempests	Pray for us.
Companion of the sorrowful	Pray for us.
Retreat of those who groan	Pray for us.
Terror of the treacherous	Pray for us.
Standard-bearer of the Martyrs	Pray for us.
Treasure of the Faithful	Pray for us.
Light of Confessors	Pray for us.
Pearl of Virgins	Pray for us.
Comfort of Widows	Pray for us.
Joy of all Saints	Pray for us.
Queen of thy Servants	Pray for us.
Holy Mary, who alone art unexampled	Pray for us.
Pray for us, most Sorrowful Virgin,	That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
Let us pray.
O God, in whose Passion, According to the prophecy of Simeon, A sword of grief pierced through The most sweet soul Of Thy glorious Blessed Virgin Mother Mary: Grant that we, who celebrate The memory of her Seven Sorrows, May obtain the happy effect of Thy Passion, Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.

Holy Cake!

It's the feast of the Nativity of Mary! 

Today is the day we celebrate and remember the nativity of our Blessed Mother, Mary. The birth of the Theotokos, Mother of God. I know some have questions or issues with this whole concept...but I am all about loving our Blessed Mother, and all about celebrating birthdays, so I can run with it! Go here for a quick bit on it as well.

I am so grateful for her and for her birthday that we will celebrate with flowers for her and maybe even a yummy dessert....Because living the liturgical year is fun and cool and gives much needed texture, rhythm, and depth to the warp and woof of our lives.

And here is a lovely prayer for the day:  from the Liturgy of the Hours: 

Father of Mercy, give your people help and strength from heaven.
The birth of the Virgin Mary's son
was the dawn of our salvation.
May this celebration of her birthday
bring us closer to lasting peace.
Grant this through Our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever. Amen.

-- the Liturgy of the Hours

Birth of Virgin Mary to St. Anne in Santa Maria Novella, Florence.  By Domenico Ghirlandio


So, this is a bit rambly...but well, think of your Mother today...your Blessed Mother and maybe say a prayer of thanksgiving for her. Because like all of us moms, she loves us even when we don't love her nearly well enough back....and, yes, in case you're wondering, we will have cake!

Happy Birthday Mary!

"Nativitas tua genitrix virgo gaudium annunziavit universo mundo"

(Thy birth, O Virgin and Mother of God, brings joy to all the world).